Trumps #MeToo Moment Moment Via Penis Rub


Donald Trump Gets Violated by Moby

Cristal M Clark

When you think about it and I mean really think about this, who doesn’t have a #MeToo story these days? In his new memoir, “Then It Fell Apart” 53-year old singer Moby admits to knob-touching President Donald Trump years ago prior to his being president at a party which was full of businessmen and real-estate developers, hence why Trump was in attendance.


Knob-touching by the way is the act of a man removing his penis from his pants and brushing it up against something, generally another person and this case that other individual was none other than one Donald Trump.

In what seems like a dare however described in the memoir as, a pal of Moby’s “subtly suggested” that Moby knob-touch Trump during the party.


“Shit I said, realizing I now had to knob-touch Donald Trump, I drank a shot of vodka to brace myself, pulled my flaccid penis out of my pants, and casually walked past Trump, trying to brush the edge of his jacket with my penis. Luckily he didn’t seem to notice or even twitch.”


Knowing Trump like we all do I am sure he was more than just “slightly” flattered by it even though he attempted to pretend that he did not notice.

As for an official comment Trump nor the White House has released anything but when he does, it will be through Twitter I would imagine, I mean quite honestly I am shocked he has yet to say anything knowing how much he loves attention and even more shocking is that Trump has not utilized this to capitalize on his very own #MeToo moment highlighting how he too has suffered at the hands of a man.

Cristal M Clark

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Austin Powers Style – Russia’s Military Trained Dolphins


Russian Military Weaponizing Sea Life

Cristal M Clark


It’s starting too look a lot like an Austin Powers movie IRL these days, well that’s only after you realize Russia has actually taken the time to train whales to harass Norwegian ships. That’s right, a white whale in a harness is out and about harassing ships, although I am sure Russia is in the process of figuring out how to mount laser beams to sharks, for the time being they are using whales and other sea life.

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Fishermen and scientists say a white whale wearing a strange harness that harassed boats in the Arctic recently may have been trained by Russia’s military and by the way Russia has in the past acknowledged that they have in fact developed a training program for sea mammals at their major military base near the territory of key NATO member Norway.

Word on the wire is that video exists of a video of a beluga whale swimming alongside a fishing vessel and repeatedly nudging it.

The harness was removed from the animal by a team from the Norwegian Director of Fisheries. Jørgen Ree Wiig, from the agency, said that the harness had a logo on it reading, “Equipment of St. Petersburg.” He described it the harness as having canvas straps which appeared slightly worn and there was visible rust on the metal screws holding the apparatus together.

Here’s where we enter grey waters, nothing about the harness actually pointed to the whale having been trained by the Russian Military but because they have already told the world they do that sort of thing it’s obvious why scientists and the security communities believe the mammal was trained by the Russian Military.

Audun Rikardsen, a professor of marine biology at the Arctic University of Norway; “We know that in Russia they have had domestic whales in captivity and also that some of these have apparently been released, then they often seek out boats.”

Russia’s military has a history of trying to weaponize whales and other sea mammals, the Cold War-era Soviet Union had a program to train dolphins to help detect underwater weapons and alert their military trainers which ran until the 1990s.

Back in 2017, Russia’s TV Zvezda, which by the way is owned by the defense ministry in Moscow, aired a report on a Russian navy program to train beluga whales, seals and dolphins for similar purposes.

Russian government records show the defense ministry spent about $25,000 purchasing five bottle-nosed dolphins in 2016 from a sea life center in Moscow.

Over the past three years, President Vladimir Putin has reopened three former Soviet military bases along its vast Arctic coastline over a rather childish argument it is having with Nato so it’s is only natural to assume the offending whale was Russian military trained.


Not sure about the rest of you here but I am waiting for Russia to release sharks with laser beams attached to them.

Cristal M Clark

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Snitch Parrot Rats Out Cops


Piauí, Brazil

Cristal M Clark

Animal training is fascinating, we can train our dogs to fetch, help open doors, to see for us, even alert us to things like a fire or some other form of danger, pigeons are trained to carry letters, drugs and the like but a parrot well that’s another story altogether.


It seems that in Brazil drug dealers trained their parrot to alert them in the event a police raid were to ever take place. According to Brazilian police who just so happened to take a parrot into custody Monday because the bird tried to warn two crack cocaine dealers about the officers raiding their house.

The parrot saw police and repeatedly yelled “Mamãe, polícia!” meaning “Mama, police!”

The police arrested the drug dealer and a teenage girl whom they believe trained the parrot to keep an eye out for law enforcement.

During the raid, officers found drugs and also took the snitch parrot into custody. Apparently since being taken into custody, the parrot has opted to remain silent rather than spill the goods on his loving drug dealer.

Cristal M Clark

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@thecrimeshop on twitter


Snapchat Conman Busted


Dubai Police Arrest Conman

Cristal M Clark

Dubai has one of the most successful police forces in the world closing just about every single case they come across with professionalism and a relentless pursuit of justice. I have long admired them for how meticulous they are.

That should, one would think give anyone pause when attempting to break the law while in Dubai but then again, we can always count on one moron to blatantly break the law.


A man in Dubai created 5 fake Snapchat accounts with women’s names in an effort to trick young people into sending him money and gifts to him, which some 50 or so did.

The suspect had been committing fraud for 2 years, until a girl whose picture he had used for the accounts, reported the incident through an e-crime platform.

Developing programs to upload pictures, speak with victims, and then fostering romantic relationships by pretending to be a woman of course.

Brigadier Jamal al-Jallaf, director of Criminal Investigation Department at Dubai Police; “The man has a decent job and salary but he wanted to get more money and take advantage of social media platforms by posing as women on Snapchat to lure youngsters.”

Sometimes having a decent job just isn’t good enough I suppose, greed can be such a foolish friend.

The unnamed man is currently awaiting his hearing for the offenses. Unfortunately, this type of crime happens every day, everywhere once finds dating apps and websites, social media, it’s virtually everywhere and it’s not just men pretending to be women, it’s men befriending women pretending to be romantically interested just to get money and gifts.

It’s always a good idea to exercise some measure of caution when online and never send money or gifts to anyone in any online platform.

Cristal M Clark

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@thecrimeshop on twitter






Ice Getting a Little Help from IC Thanks to Donald Trump


United States Intelligence Community Helping Bust Illegals

Cristal M Clark

It appears that the White House made a pretty quiet move last year at some point according to David Glawe, DHS’ undersecretary for intelligence and analysis, who wrote a letter to Congress late last year. In his letter to Congress, David sheds new light on ICE’s relationship with the 17 U.S. government organizations that collect and analyze intelligence, known collectively as the Intelligence Community or IC.


Now some are voicing serious concerns over the matter after David detailed his work to reorganize the Office of Intelligence and Analysis (I&A), the component of DHS that belongs to the IC. David has prioritized this effort which has frustrated some career officials in the office. As part of that reorganization, the branch of the office that focused on domestic terrorism was eliminated. David said this change has not hindered DHS’ ability to prevent domestic terror attacks but multiple sources at DHS told The Daily Beast the change does in fact concern them.


In the letter, David writes that cooperation between I&A and ICE has grown; “As a result of this realignment, as well as our ongoing efforts to integrate DHS field and functional intelligence activities into a fully synchronized and cohesive enterprise; I&A is providing improved and enhanced intelligence capabilities to DHS components, including ICE and CBP, as well as the interagency. These capabilities include collection, reporting, and analysis to support a DHS enterprise that fuses intelligence into operational functions, disciplines, and activities to inform actions that neutralize threats to the homeland. The cumulative impact of these efforts are more focused and integrated intelligence capabilities and products which meet customer requirements.”

We all know that when you read the word “Collection” that given our past history in this country with collection methods, that the word tends to generate concern among civil liberties advocates as well as others.

Still the same, in the world we live in today our information is collected, stolen and/or sold by ill-gotten groups and individuals at a rate much faster than the NSA can obtain then subsequently lose it. So, I am not entirely sure why anyone would be concerned over our own Government working together to collect intel on individuals seeking entry into the United States as well as those that are known to help those individuals.

The entire argument against it is quite frankly absurd, unless you live completely off the grid, a plethora of intel is readily available to just about anyone willing to pay for it.

Cristal M Clark

IOS users can find The Crime Shop on Apple News

@thecrimeshop on twitter


Chicago Serial Killer Problems


Does Chicago Have a Serial Killer on Her Hands?

Cristal M Clark

Chicago has had a small problem with women vanishing since around 2001 only to be found murdered, strangled and stuffed in garbage cans or left in alleyways, each murder similar which has been well documented through the years yet, Chicago Police had been reluctant to suggest let alone investigate the possibility that they may just have a serial killer on their hands.

That is in fact, about to change as Chicago police have announced that they are finally investigating the deaths, primarily of sex workers, as the work of a potential serial killer, the Chicago Sun-Times reported Thursday.


This comes after years of pressure from activists and groups like the Murder Accountability Project, “I believe there are probably more than one serial killer active in Chicago,” Thomas Hargrove, founder of the Murder Accountability Project.

Thomas is not wrong, the killer or killers in this case look for and prey on the easily forgotten, those that are less likely to be missed by someone which is part of the reason this particular killer or killers have gotten away with it for so long.

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According to the Sun-Times, Police Supt. Eddie Johnson said Thursday night at a board meeting that his department has launched a review into the murders, although he doesn’t believe there’s enough evidence to suggest it’s a serial killer at work. Which is funny considering that the Murder Accountability Project, has been doing all of the leg work here and has investigated the unsolved murders of at least 51 women.  

7 of the women were found in garbage receptacles, 2 were killed within days of each other back in November of 2007 and found dead in burning trash cans in the same park. Many of the murdered women were found on the south and west sides of Chicago, and almost all were black. Some of the women were raped and beaten.

What’s more is that 75 Chicago women have been killed in a similar fashion strangled or smothered and left to die in public since 2001, according to an analysis done by the Tribune. Of those murders, 25 cases were closed, resulting in the arrests of 13 men. In some instances, police never interviewed people in the neighborhoods near the killings or friends of the victims.

An unnamed man told the Tribune when asked about the murder of Velma Howard, a woman found dead on his block in 2014,“They just picked the body up and left.”

It’s important to understand here that the Chicago police have never had a stellar relationship with the very people they have sworn to protect and serve. Rather than protect and serve many have been caught abusing the laws they have sworn to uphold and abused, beat, tortured and tormented suspects, innocent people and bystanders. So it is no surprise that they failed at investigating the murders of so many of these women.

When you sleep at the wheel you miss your mark and that mark is finding the killer or killers of these women. These police blatantly made the choice not to look into these murders for so long it would not come as a total surprise to learn that evidence was lost, mishandled, destroyed and not even collected to begin with.

Police Supt. Eddie Johnson doesn’t think they have a serial killer and that could very well be simply because the police failed so many times in Chicago to do it’s actual job and that was to investigate each one of these murders as if the women actually mattered.

Cristal M Clark

IOS users can find The Crime Shop on Apple News

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Uber Driver Robbing Passengers

no to uber-crimeshop

More Woes for Uber

Cristal M Clark

Uber just cannot seem to stay out of the news and by news, I mean bad news. In the past several years Uber and Uber Eats drivers have faced a plethora of charges, from assault, rape, to attempted murder and more recently the news has reported in detail just how easy it is for someone to print out an Uber logo and pretend to be an Uber driver. I actually saw this recently although the individual who had the fake Uber sticker in his window didn’t quite cut it out like a professional, it honestly looked like a 5-year-old did the work and the guy was smoking whilst driving. A pretty clear indication he was not in fact, a driver for Uber.


Straight off the wire today Police in San Mateo, California, have arrested 38-year-old Jackie Gordon Wilson, who allegedly dropped off his Uber Passengers at the airport then went back to their home to rob them blind.

What an ahole.

Surveillance footage from a doorbell camera showed a man approaching the front door on Thursday, then walking away from the house. Police say he was chased off when the security alarm went off.

But that was clearly not enough to make him stop trying to rob anyone because he was later caught on camera breaking into another home a few blocks away. The house was ransacked and a number of items had been stolen.

Jackie spent 4 hours, yes 4 hours ransacking the home and was seen on video taking bag after bag of valuables, including heirlooms that had been saved during the Holocaust.

The victim just so happened to post video of the burglary online and the other homeowner saw it and showed it to his former guests who recognized the man as their Uber driver.

During his arrest, some of the stolen property was found in his home as well as the clothes he was seen wearing in the videos.

Jackie was charged with first degree burglary, attempted first degree burglary, and resisting arrest.

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What is really shocking about this, is that many of the ride shares around share the same drivers so how is it that Lyft is not experiencing the same issues as Uber does? Uber seemingly has an unprecedented number of claims surrounding the service such as fake drivers, raping and killing women, violent prone drivers they supposedly background check to attempting to murder those that forgo a tip.


Uber not only has a bad reputation for passengers a quick Google search shows just how tarnished that reputation is with its drivers so it would be a fair assumption to believe that Uber is not able to attract the right kind of driver like other ride shares do, you know drivers who are not in the business of robbery, raping or killing.


Quite Simply put, Uber needs to do a lot more in an effort to protect it’s passengers and they are clearly not willing to step up to the plate yet.

Cristal M Clark

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@thecrimeshop on twitter





Flame Malware – I’m Back


Stuxnet, Flame Malware Making a Comeback

Cristal M Clark

Flame malware, also known as Flamer, sKyWIper, and Skywiper, is modular computer malware that attacked computers running the Microsoft Windows operating system. The program was used for targeted cyber espionage in Middle Eastern countries. It was once what researchers referred to as a sophisticated little gem of malware, created as nation-state spy tools, once outed by Kaspersky Labs, it was quickly and quietly shuttered and forgotten about, until now.


It is believed to have been created by Israel, Flame was the first modular spy platform discovered in the wild, it came with multiple plug-ins that could be swapped out according to whatever tools were needed for each victim.

It had a lot of capability that was unique at the time it was discovered, and also used a highly sophisticated technique for spreading.

The attackers tricked Microsoft into issuing them a legitimate Microsoft certificate, which they then used to sign their malicious files. Then they subverted the trusted Windows Update mechanism, through which Microsoft distributes patches and software upgrades to customers, to deliver those malicious files to targeted victims instead, doing so in a way that made it look like they came from Microsoft’s server.

The attackers also managed a fleet of 80 command-and-control domains to communicate with infected machines then they faked Flame’s death back in May 2012, pushing out a kill module to infected machines and closing shop on the command-and-control servers.

Most researchers thought that the creators in a panic just shut things down but are not realizing that it may never have been truly shut down, just ehhh more or less running in the background unbeknownst to virtually everyone in the security world.

The original Flame attacked systems in Iran as well as other parts of the Middle East it would do things such as turn on the internal microphone of an infected machine to record conversations the user conducted near the computer or over Skype or, using the infected computer’s Bluetooth functionality, scan for other Bluetooth-enabled devices in the vicinity, such as a mobile phone, and siphon the contacts folder from it.

Great little piece of spyware honestly.

The attackers appear to have re-tooled their little spy kit and added strong encryption to make it harder to detect and reverse engineer according to researchers at Alphabet’s Chronicle Security labs who discovered that a new version of Flame appeared in 2014 (the original was back in 2012), and likely remained active until 2016 and beyond, giving them just enough time to steal and deploy whatever they would like.

Juan-Andres Guerrero-Saade, one of the Chronicle security researchers who made the discovery; “Nobody ever expected to see Flame again. We figured it was too old and expensive for the attackers to waste time retooling rather than just build a whole new platform.”


Juan-Andres did not just stop with that either, he went on to explain that he and his team also found evidence that Stuxnet, you know the virus/worm created by the US and Israel to sabotage Iran’s nuclear program in 2007, but ended up infecting virtually every PC in the US as well as globaly, has connections to another malware family known as Flowershop.

Oh Flowershop, Flowershop was operating as early as 2002, several years before Stuxnet was developed, and it appears that some of Flowershop’s code made it into a Stuxnet component, which if true means that a fourth team or group of individuals were part of America’s first Cyberwar campaign, the development of Stuxnet. What’s more is that researchers have in fact, previously found connections between Stuxnet and Flame and between Stuxnet and two other malware families known as Duqu and the Equation Group, the latter a group of tools attributed to the NSA.

The new discovery has baffled researchers who still do not have a full understanding into the full capabilities of Stuxnet and Flame, so it’s anyone’s guess as to what the creators of Flame might be up to these days, one thing is for certain, they do not plan on stopping anytime soon.

Cristal M Clark

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@thecrimeshop on twitter



Uganda Trolls Trump


Trump Demands Uganda Take Action?


Cristal M Clark


You have to hand it to Uganda for such a brilliant response to Donald Trump’s morning tweet, in it Trump suggested: “must find the kidnappers of freed American tourist and her tour guide before people will feel safe visiting the country.”


Kimberly Sue Endicott and safari guide Jean Paul Mirenge Remezo, were seized in a national park in southwestern Uganda last week and were subsequently freed over the weekend, Trump strongly suggested that the kidnappers must be brought to justice “openly and quickly.”

And the reports surrounding the ransom are conflicting over whether a ransom was even paid for the pair’s release. Ugandan police said Monday they could not provide specific details on how the rescue mission was accomplished “for future operational security and tactical reasons.”

The New York Times reported Monday that Endicott and Remezo were freed after an unspecified ransom was paid, citing officials with Wild Frontiers, the safari company with which they were traveling.

The kidnappers had demanded a $500,000 ransom after grabbing Endicott and Remezo from among a group of tourists on an evening game drive April 2 at the Queen Elizabeth National Park, Ugandan police said.

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And to put the Don in place spokesman for the Ugandan government, Ofwono Opondo P’Odel, responded with a key fact with regards to the United States: “there are more gun deaths in the #US than kidnappings in Uganda but people still flock to the United States.”

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I have to take a moment an applaud Ofwono Opondo P’Odel here, way to serve the Don and place his own little foot into his pie hole.

Cristal M Clark

IOS users can find The Crime Shop on Apple News

@thecrimeshop on twitter