Men Upset But, What’s a Woman To Do?
Cristal M Clark
The FaceBook group, “Are We Dating the Same Guy” is getting more and more press recently, in fact when it was first reported on back in October, no one really took much notice but, it is now grown and continuous to grow and reports of men acting out because of it, are starting to surface.
Unlike what the media reports about the group I’ll explain what its true purpose is. It is not about getting back at men, or bad mouthing someone who ghosted a woman, it serves two main purposes, 1. To inform with regard to men who are married or living with another woman and 2, to protect women from potential harm either mentally or psychical harm.
It also serves its purpose of protecting women from those pesky online scammers both men and women experience on dating sites, you know the fake accounts, who eventually hit you up for funds?
Now with that of course you have women who are just looking to get back at an ex, or women who have had some interesting encounters with men that they feel other women should know about. The Facebook group works a lot like a police report, you are only allowed to state the facts, do not digress into things like insulting or making fun of a man or male bashing someone for his appearance, where he lives or works and members are discouraged although it happens from making reference to a mans psychological or mental status. Most are not licensed mental health therapists so the groups generally frown upon a woman saying that a man is a narcissist, it will let someone respond with a comment like “my ex was a classic narcissist and he used to do this.” It lets the users compare notes but not diagnose.
Men are not happy about the group which is worldwide now. It seems that men have started their own groups in an attempt to get back at women. I saw one from overseas advertised as “let’s get back at them” Which is fucking pathetic, the group for women is not about getting back at anyone.
Women who clearly want to get back at someone are caught fairly quickly by the groups many admins and whatsmore is that some of the women who try to report suspected red flags are called out by group members when it’s not a red flag at all.
What I have seen and this is absolutely alarming, are women who report being sexually assaulted by dates, women who were given the date rape drug, women who were verbally abused by a date, not a long term partner, by a bloody date, men who are pretending to be younger than they are, men pretending to be single who are not, men who lie about their name, occupation and a plethora of sex offenders and violent offenders with records on dating sites, not to mention a number of men who are pushing in almost criminal ways to get women to put out, when they decline the men then try to get the women to send nudes, have a sexual video session, which is recorded, and multiple men who knowingly have an STD, having unprotected sex with women without informing them of the STD. One women recently posted about a sexual encounter where her partner slipped off the condom without telling her and he subsequently infected her with an STD and became violently angry when she tried to confront him.
Then you have the both current and ex wives and ex girlfriends who post about abuse, they will even post images of the upcoming court dates of these men with photos from the arrest and these men are on dating sites. Lastly you have both the wives and current girlfriends posting who are finding their partners on dating sites hooking up.
So men are angry women are not putting up with it anymore. You know for most men, you are probably never seen on the site because you are decent but here in Denver, you should see some of the things women are posting and talking about. Two weeks ago a woman posted pictures and her story about having been raped by a man she went on a date with who is still active on dating sites. The police basically victim blamed her, she was pretty badly beaten. And men are upset women are talking about these experiences? Another woman here in Denver recently posted about a man who assaulted her, and paid for her medical treatment she even posted the texts between the two along with his picture.
Last year, I had the opportunity to date someone I had met on a dating site who was married, he didn’t tell me of course, I drug the info out of him, turned out his wife was dying from terminal cancer and mentally he had it in his mind that he was already single. The point is, he was not and he lied to me from the get go, I asked multiple times. Not that it lasted past a second date at all, I could tell that his story was fabricated, still he had no right whatsoever to lie to me. He was conning me into dating and fixing his current living situation which was him living with her every single night. He lied to her and had told her he was going on a trip out of town in the hope that I would have him stay over at mine for the weekend.
TThat is not right and I am clear in that I do not want to date married men. Period. He became verbally irate and abusive when I called him out. I was afraid, he was three times my size but he didn’t touch me thankfully. But the point is that he is trigger happy in the sense that if he is caught in lie he becomes angry, he got in my face and screamed at me, threatened me, and almost hit me but he stopped.
Was that a crime, no but a woman has a right to share that with others. Now, I did not post about him at all, personally I figured karma would get him, fucking around on a wife who is dying from cancer is bad and karma doesn’t take lightly to that.
I’ve seen former offenders of the sexual and sever abuse kind on these dating sites, it’s scary to say the least.
Look men, women are tired of being pushed into having sex, used, lied to, abused and mistreated. Men will not stop themselves. The sites will not do anything to keep these types of men off of them and the police will not help so what’s a woman to do?
Our only option is to warn others and hope that some of the most scary, violent men do not end up hurting others.
Cristal M Clark
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