Tesla Branded Cocaine?

The Sinaloa Cartel is Rebranding Cocaine

Cristal M Clark

Not to long ago Elon Musk made a joke about purchasing Coca-Cola just so that he could put the cocaine back into it. Obviously he did not purchase Coca-Cola but the joke was heard loud and clear by the Sinaloa Cartel who is now branding packages of cocaine with the Telsa logo as well as the Prada Label. 

It’s actually quite ingenious and as it turns out, in Mexico City authorities busted 4 men who were in the midst of moving 1.6 tons of cocaine through the capital earlier this week. The police in Mexico City have increased police operations against the Sinaloa Cartel operatives that are found to be working in and around Mexico City.

The cocaine had been found in 2 tractor trailers, along with a 3rd vehicle that was staged in an effort to protect the shipments. During the bust authorities found the drug’s packaging were stamped with the logos of Tesla and Prada.

It is rumoured that this is one of the largest bust for Mexico City and that whilst some of the drugs were en route to the Tepito neighbourhood, a good portion of the drugs were also earmarked to be sent here to the United States. 

Sadly sometimes Red Bull does not give you wings and you need a little something stronger. 

Whilst authorities were somewhat hesitant to truly identify the 4 men who had been arrested as being part of the Sinaloa Cartel, local media in Mexico City were quick to point that the 4 men in fact are part of the Sinaloa Cartel. 

It is said that the Mexico City police force is as war with the Sinaloa Cartel, on July the 12th the police engaged the cartel in a rather bloody shootout through the southern part of Mexico City, where 150 police thought it would be a good idea to engage the cartel in a gun battle. The cartel however, was found to be well armed and quite ready for the police. 

The Sinaloa Cartel was found to have a 50 caliber sniper rifle, grenades, and cache of numerous guns and high powered rifles. This left 14 alleged Sinaloa Cartel members arrested and later released due to lack of evidence while 4 officers were injured. 

Perhaps next time the police will have a better thought out plan other than engaging the cartel in a dangerous gun battle in the streets of Mexico City. 

I’m not sure how Elon Musk or Mario Prada feel about this but I give the Cartel a thumbs up here for the rebranding effort. 

Cristal M Clark


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No Wonder Grocery Bills Seem Higher Than Ever

Cristal M Clark 

I mean if you are looking for something that will give you a little pep, or an added ingredient for Sunday dinner with the fam, why not try picking up a brick of Coke at your local market? 

For some unlucky drug smugglers roughly $38 million worth of cocaine was inadvertently shipped to some local supermarkets in Czech it could be intercepted in Germany. The smugglers tried to hide the cocaine in banana crates with bananas. 

The drugs, had been packaged as blocks of pressed cocaine with a total weight of 1,851 pounds and with a street value of approximately $83 million, had transited via the German port of Hamburg, the largest port in Europe after Rotterdam in the Netherlands, before arriving in the Czech Republic. That is quite the haul. 

The cocaine was discovered by supermarket workers who then informed authorities about this mysterious white powder. Honestly, I almost do wonder how much walked away before anyone alerted the local authorities?

According to officials “Criminal investigators found that goods of the same batch were distributed to several other places in the Czech Republic.Therefore, in cooperation with the [Customs Administration of the Czech Republic] and other entities, it is currently conducting inspections of these places and other actions.”

The Czech police added that they were now looking to work with international authorities to further their investigation. They said: “Information about consignments is kept outside the territory of the Czech Republic, for this reason we will use the institute of international police and judicial cooperation.

“The case was taken over by the National Drug Control Center, which will conduct the investigation. We will provide more information as soon as possible.”

By the way, The United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC)  says that “Cocaine manufacture reached record levels in 2019 despite growth losing momentum. The output of global cocaine manufacture doubled between 2014 and 2019 to reach an estimated 1,784 tons (expressed at 100 percent purity) in 2019, the highest level ever recorded.”

Now I know governments don’t much like it but everyone, all nations have pretty much lost the “war” on drugs. To be rather honest here, it is highly doubtful that at least here in the US officials have no idea just how well cocaine does on the streets because cocaine is still the drug of choice for those that have means, hence a job, a little money. Affluent individuals still buy the shite out of cocaine here in America. 

We should just legalise it and call it good. Until then, you’ll just have to dig through those bananas at the supermarket looking for it. 

Cristal M Clark


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Drug Dealers Getting into the Online Shopping Game


Instagram and Snapchat – A Drug Dealers New Turf

Cristal M Clark 

Let’s admit it, we all love the convenience of online shopping, not having to go to the store for everything from car parts, to booze and groceries, so is it really that hard to imagine that drug addicts would also appreciate the idea of being able to purchase their goods online as well?


They are in luck because Instagram and Snapchat just to name a couple of social media platforms that do cater to drug dealers and customers with just a simple DM. Dealers have finally stopped hanging out in seedy alleyways to sell their drugs and are now treating the sales of drugs as an actual business. 


Yes an actual business with sales goals, advertising and investing in selling. 


According to Voltface, 1 in 4 individuals is selling drugs on social media, using creative advertising gimmicks such as but not limited to, high quality professional images of said product, giveaways, cold contacting. The majority of listings seen were for cannabis however, cocaine, MDMA, Xanax and nitrous oxide were also high up on the list. That is sadly naming just a few of the drugs you can buy through social media, not surprisingly users can score a lot more than just that. 

Nice, very comforting for parents. 

NHS reports that Class A drug use among 11 to 15-year-olds is in fact on the rise, not to mention that there have been a number of high-profile cases of children fatally overdosing. The truth of the matter is kids are not using drugs at younger ages, they are just using more deadly drugs these days and the number of adults looking for a way to cope has also more than tripled over the last decade, so the ability to obtain drugs online outside of the heavily policed dark web where it’s easier to hide from law enforcement is highly appealing to both users and dealers alike.  

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Users who sell drugs via social media are reporting that it’s easy to set up an account and locate potential customers to approach and sell their goods to. 

That of course is problematic to law enforcement because the social media platforms continually do things so as to shut the prying eyes of the system out, in fact the majority of social media platforms do everything that they can to protect the identities of their users and the account’s of their users. With the exception of Facebook, law enforcement can pretend to be some type of company that wants to “purchase” user information unbeknownst to the users and Facebook will just sell it to them. 

Now that dealers are treating the sales of drugs as a business and moving it to social media it’s only a matter of time before the cartels catch on to the game leaving the war on drugs standing on losing playing ground. 

Cristal M Clark

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Want to Purchase Some Cocaine and/or Meth?


Turns out There’s an App for That

By: Cristal M Clark

If you are in the market for some cocaine and meth purchasing, you were, as in past tense, in luck because some bloody idiot made and app for that. We should have all seen this one coming really in all honesty.

collin howard_crimeshop

Meet Collin Riley Howard, 18 a freshman at the University of California Santa Cruz, the young man who created an iPhone app he named “Banana Plug,” which just so happened to offer cocaine, “molly” and “shrooms.” It appears as if Collin named the app after his school’s mascot and It was discovered by police after finding posters advertising it on campus, umm not the smartest move if you were to ask me. And the app, well turns out, it was available in Apple’s App Store.

So, what’s a cop to do in this type of situation? Download the app and play about of course. Undercover Homeland Security agents used the app to purchase marijuana and cocaine in November 2018. Agents also contacted Howard through Snapchat to set up the purchase of additional controlled substances, including methamphetamine, on a few occasions.

Now before you all run to download it, turns out, that the Fed’s, well they are not too keen on the idea of an app utilized so as to distribute illegal drugs, no, they have charged Collin whose parents must be so very proud, with distribution and possession with intent to distribute cocaine and methamphetamine.

Collin is scheduled to appear in court tomorrow.

Cristal M Clark

IOS users can find The Crime Shop on Apple News

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$10 Million Dollar Bounty


New and Improved Drug Lord Rises to the Occasion

By: Cristal M Clark


Who here is a fan of Netflix’s Narcos? Well as it turns out in the world of drug cartels, real life and tv are not all that different after all.


Just as El Chapo heads off to prison news started to break introducing the world to one Nemesio Ruben Oseguera-Cervantes or better known by his street name, El Mencho who is reported to be a wee bit more sadistic than good old El Chapo.

Cartels by the way are not well known for sitting down to tea to work out any differences.

It is rumored that El Mencho was once a cop, an avocado grower, likes cock-fighting and happens to be a billionaire?

And now, the worlds most feared drug lord, his mother must be so very proud.


He is rumored to run his cartel in the same manner as a terrorist organization, he is said that he will never go down alive and his expectation is that his men will do the same.

He set up his cartel in Jalisco state around 10 years ago, moves meth, cocaine and heroin all over the world and has since managed to amass billions. In case you are wondering he actually as it turns out, made a name for himself by by dumping 35 bound and tortured bodies, oh yes bound and tortured bodies, onto the very streets of Mexico’s port Veracruz during, well rush hour of course. I see the rational, if you are going to really make a name for yourself, you dump 35 bound and tortured bodies somewhere, but where? Well, it’s best to do it on one of the busiest roads and during rush hour.

Sometimes, these guys totally go for the wow factor and just completely overdo it.  


I’m sorry but is the DEA so understaffed that we can only go after one drug lord at a time thus allowing them to become serial killers and also billionaires at the same time?

It’s a legit question.

8 soldiers and a police officer died during a failed raid which had tried to take down the drug lord. Then in retaliation because they just couldn’t let the failed raid go, El Mencho’s men set fire to a number of vehicles and buildings, causing fear, panic and with it devastation that required 10,000 troops being brought in in order to bring the situation under control.

His men killed a man and his young son by detonating sticks of dynamite duct-taped to their bodies a few years ago.

But if you think and of that is the worst of it:

His delightful henchmen also by the way raped, killed and set fire to a 10-year-old girl. They also raped, killed and set on fire the wrong 10-year old girl, because they thought the girl they raped, killed and set on fire was the daughter of a rival.

She in fact was not.

Maybe not so great at identifying potential rivals and family members of said rivals.


The DEA lists him as it’s most wanted and has a $10 million bounty on his head if anyone is interested, but be forewarned, it is my understanding that 1. He will not go down without a fight and 2. It is rumored that his army of henchmen is in the thousands.  

Cristal M Clark

IOS users can find The Crime Shop on Apple News

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